“BUT JOHN.  Gyromite was terrible.  The NES automatic robot was strange.  It never worked!  The random flashing was annoying.”  TRUE.  Gyromite was terrible with a robot slave, but I truly think its one of the better 2 player games for the NES, and that’s why it is being featured this week in Old Games That Don’t Suck Thursday.

Once upon a time the NES came bundled with a robot to play with as a second player.  It came bundled with Nintendo Entertainment Systems back in the late 80′s with a copy of Gyromite, one of a couple games the robot worked with.  The robot, R.O.B., was a light sensitive mechanical robot that could pick up objects and drop them onto levers, which then depressed the second controller’s buttons.  You control the robot with your own controller by flashing visual cues from the television to the robot.  Sounds complicated, and it was!

I need an analogy here.  Let’s see… it’s like having a robot play Frisbee with you.  Finding another human would be much more fun… and once you figure that out the game shines.  Ditch the robot and find a friend.

Levels are made up of simple platforming.  The first player controls the scientist who runs around trying to collect scattered pieces of dynamite.  The second person/robot operates giant red and blue pillars, which rise and fall like pistons to help aid/impair the scientist towards all the dynamite.  Once the dynamite is fully collected the scientist moves onto the next level.

The clever twist in the game is that both players play a crucial role in the survival of the scientist.  Pillars have to be opened at precise times to allow the scientist to move on.  The scientist cannot jump or kill bad guys on his own so the pillar operator also has to insure that the scientist stays safe and does not allow baddies into isolated rooms. Working together the two players can make sure the scientist can make it to the end.  It’s co-op gameplay unlike most games found on the NES and it really is fun.  A lot of games had me rolling on the floor laughing from the mistakes and close calls we had during this game.  Scientists become easily crushed or trapped when the two players don’t work together.

It’s not a long game but its a fun experience, but only for two real people.  Gyromite is available on the NES.

This week’s Old Game That Doesn’t Suck Thursday involves a game a lot of people play, probably to make up for the game that I think only I’ve played last week.  This week, it’s the NES version of DuckTales.

This game is awesome for perhaps only one major reason: walking cane.  Cane is the best weapon ever.  Scrooge McDuck uses a cane to attack but can also use his cane to pogo stick to higher locations.   Who knows why a cane can be used as a pogo stick but it makes for fairly awesome gameplay.

Like any good gameplay comes a nice pairing of good graphics, which were also above average for an NES game.  Characters were fully animated and not with simple sprites; the game is fleshed out with great looking animation and enemies.

Yeah, its fairly simple platforming but it was fun, and that’s what really counted.  I loved this game and was very memorable to my childhood.  I never owned the game, only rented it from a video store once, but even that once was enough to ingrain it in my memory.

Ridiculous games are fun. Especially ones with non-official cartridges and missing Nintendo Seals of Approval. This week’s Old Games That Don’t Suck is Toobin’.

First off I have to say that this game isn’t by any means originally an NES game but that is where I played it. It was originally launched as an arcade game by Atari, but never really had the chance to play in the arcade (although I have seen a machine or two).  I first experienced Toobin’ when I rented it at a video store.  When I was handed the cartridge I was puzzled.  I had rented an NES game, but the cartridge was a jet black colour, misshaped, and looked nothing like a normal NES cartridge.  I was reassured it would work, and sure enough it did.

The game is pretty simple: You roll down a river in an inflatable tube.  Avoid things that pop out of the water and get to the whirlpool (yes, whirlpool) at the end of the level.  Once you do you win!  To get through difficult parts you can chuck cans of [pop, beer, water] at the obstacles on the left and right side.

This game is just goofy fun.  On the outside it’s an avoider game, but in the gooey centre you realize its just a whole lot of nonsense and ridiculousness.  I feel like such a lowlife floating in an inner tube down a random river chucking cans at people.  The music complements this shameless act.

It’s hard too.  I could only beat the first level when I was younger, and a later revisit let me get to the second level.  I am honestly not quite even sure what’s past the second level.

I’m not saying by any means that this is my favourite game.  But it’s a funny look at a leisurely activity, and even funnier now that someone made a game for it.

This week our Old Game That Doesn’t Suck is Power Blade, a game about… bionic boomerangs.

This is NES platforming at its finest.  Take a man made of half-steel/half-flesh and put him in a futuristic society with some boomerangs.  Then stick him in some rooms with really awesome and diverse enemies… you can’t lose!

Sure, you run-and-gun, but a really nice part of this game is the upgrade system.  Every time you gather a powerup you can throw your boomerang further, gain more powerful boomerangs, or even get multiple boomerangs at once.  The ultimate suit powerup grants the player one-hit kill bullets and a heavily armoured suit.  The game is really good about rewarding the player and making the powerups actually useful.

The platforming and exploration fits the game’s great mechanics.  The enemies fit into each of the seven areas beautifully, each area having new enemy types and mixing it up with previous fights.  Think alternate-reality Megaman with a fresh style and better graphics (dare I say that?).

The music in this game is really good.  Each theme is upbeat and well orchestrated for chip music.

The one downside to this game is that its really hard to find.  I paid about $25 recently to rebuy this title, so I hope it appears on wiiware so that a larger audience can play it.  If you find it in some garage sale, snag it.  It’s a rare game worth playing!

Welcome to Old Games That Don’t Suck Thursday. Each week I’ll write about a game that somehow influenced by life as a game developer and which I can totally recommend to you because the game is flippin’ sweet. It also has to be old or at least forgotten about until recently.

I know I am against the grain here when I say that Gilligan’s Island for NES was NOT a bad game.  In fact it was a strangly amusing game, but for all the wrong reasons.

I would equate it to watching a bad 50′s atomic era movie just so you can enjoy the nuttiness of the action, sets, and massive alien beings.  The same reason why movies become cult classics rather than lost in the sea of showbiz.  The game does suck, but that’s what makes it so good.  Okay, so OGTDST is all about games that don’t suck, but in a way this IS a game that doesn’t suck, but only because it does suck.

If you’ve never seen Gilligan’s Island, the gist of the story is that there are several shipwrecked passengers trying to get off an island.  The game follows pretty close, going as far as to integrate all the characters somehow into each level.  The game has that “3d in a 2d game” effect like in Double Dragon and similar games, with movement extending upwards and downwards in addition to the normal left and right.  In the game you are trying to accomplish what is essentially an episode of the movie.  You must go visit points on the map in order by which the game designates and complete a bunch of mini missions.  All the while just trying to stay alive.

The game is incredibly brutal to the player.  The game is not forgiving with it’s time limit, and you’ll find yourself playing the same first level at least 4-5 times before you can beat it.   Second, the game has these quicksand pits that require the player to mash the A button to get out of.  And third, every part of every level looks the same.  You’ll be lost before you even started.  And to top it off they skimp on the life, so you’ll probably be dead somewhere along the way too.

But I love this sort of stuff.  It’s just raw video game flaws and it’s fun to play in.  It’s a fun challenge to beat the first level, and when you finally do you’ll just want to take away the experience.  No reason to play level 2… you’ve already gone and done what you sought out to do.

I loved it, you probably won’t, but that doesn’t matter.  This game makes me happier than you’ll ever know.