I have this strange urge to talk about airplanes, mostly inspired by my trip tomorrow to Flash Gaming Summit. For over two years Carlie and I had a long distance relationship that spanned California, or nearly 450 miles (750 km) for just weekends at a time. Needless to say, our time together was short. To maximize time we would fly to see each other. There were a LOT of flights, and although they were only a few hours each way there was much to be learned. In the course of that time I have picked up many strategies and tips for maximizing comfort while on an airplane.
+ Seat position is so important. Aisle seats gives you legroom and dedicated armrest, window seats gives you view and dedicated armrest, and centre seats just suck in-general. Choose accordingly. Also remember that if you sit next to someone who has to get up a lot you’ll be getting up a lot too if you choose the aisle seat. Alternatively, window seat benefits from no one needing to bother you the entire flight, so really… it’s a nice “I’m just going to sleep” seat.
+ Between three seats there are four armrests. If you really care about armrests you should sit window or aisle. Centre has no guarantee whatsoever and people are really not nice about sharing.
+ Front of the airplane has last boarding group but first-off privileges. If you are in a hurry after the flight lands its best to board near the front of the plane. If you are lugging bags the back of the plane has the best chance to find overhead space.
+ Front of the plane benefits from first beverage and snack service (if available) meaning you’ll have the most selection (if available) AND the most time to consume it.
+ Very back rows of the plane suck. They feel the most movement of the plane and they are next to the lavatories, where people typically wait for the bathroom and stare at you while waiting. Also, these seats do not recline. There is no merit to these seats, EVER. Alternatively, the very front rows of the plane rock. While they have no storage for personal bags they have nearly twice the legroom (this area is often called bulkhead and can sometimes be requested!). Some seats near the fire exit feature the same sort of arrangement.
+ If open seating, remember that babies cry on descent due to discomfort in ear-pressure. If you don’t like crying sit elsewhere.
+ Sitting next to someone can be uncomfortable sometimes. If choosing a seat for whether you sit next to someone or not, remember that planes usually fill front to back. You have the best chance of not sitting next to someone near the back, especially in open-seating situations.
+ When airplanes are cleaned the armrests are put up to ease the cleaners. Many people sit on top of me because the armrest was never put back down. Divide your space by insuring arm rests down on either side. Also, avoid that awkward situation of pulling the seat belt out from underneath someone by putting your seatbelt on your seat as soon as you sit down.
+ Seatback pockets are vortexes of doom. Never put anything in there you plan on keeping.
+ Lavatories are hard to use. Try not to drink too much while on the plane or in the airport.
+ Some people like to talk on flights. Airplane seats are like a chatroom to them. Every conversation on a plane is the same: Where are you from? What do you do there? And then the conversation follows with comparing what you do for a living with what their friends/relatives do for a living or how they relate to your job. For example, half my conversations are about what games their kids play home on their Wii since I tell them I make games. Not to say that conversations won’t turn elsewhere; one time I listened to war stories from a meth-user-turned-clean Vietnam War vet for four hours, complete with explanation of each of his tattoos. Sometimes conversations can turn a bit uncomfortable, so headphones ultimately end any uneasy conversation, as does a trip to the bathroom (you don’t really have to go).
+ Airplane peanuts are salty and require extra beverage. Extra beverage requires going to the bathroom. Are you eating those peanuts because you are actually hungry or because they are sitting there? Sounds like trouble.
+ Don’t lean your seatback. The person behind you will appreciate it and the angle of lean is not nearly as comfortable as the person behind you will be. Fire exit rows cannot recline, so if you hate recliners this is a good place to be.
+ People put their bags in sideways which fills way too much space. The overheads are made to fit with bags put in wheels first, so if room is tight in the overheads you can just turn another person’s bag.
I’m sure I have more, I can’t remember anything else at the moment since I’m packing.
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